I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
