i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Panties = found
Randomize
