So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
