So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
