Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
