Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We left the knife in your bed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
