That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
