Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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