Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize