Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
