it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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