so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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