So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize