I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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