everyone is single if you try hard enough
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
