So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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