hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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