i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
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When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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