Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I could fuck to npr.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
