How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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