i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
