btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
