i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
