Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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