i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
