I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize