hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
