Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
