During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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