Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
