I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
