new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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