I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
