I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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