just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
