They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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