Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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