? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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