You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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