I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
