Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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