We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize