You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
