No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
