I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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