Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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