Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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