please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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