right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
