Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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