First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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