he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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