I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
