Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
