yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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