Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
