you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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