bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
