6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
